In high conflict family law matters, parenting disagreements about the child are at the core of the case. Otherwise, if parents could make decisions about their child, they wouldn’t need the court to intervene in their disputes. Divorces in and of themselves do not derail a child’s emotional, brain, or cognitive development. Rather, the research literature indicates that a predictor of how well a child will psychologically adjust post-divorce, both as a child and eventually as an adult, is how much conflict that child’s parents have during and after the divorce. Therefore, reducing parent conflict during and post-divorce is critical.
Parenting disputes could be related to anything from which school the child should attend, how to structure communication between each parent and the child, or how much screen time the child should have. While the parenting disagreements can vary from family to family, most parents involved in a family law matter have little to no trust between them, often feel betrayed by the other parent, have problematic communication as parents, and struggle with conflict resolution.
A parenting professional is someone who works with parents to help them define their parenting disputes and work towards achieving parenting agreements concerning various child matters. A parenting professional focuses on the present, not the past. A focus on the current issues and impasses helps parents achieve progress through agreed parenting plans, which helps reduce parent conflict, thereby reducing known developmental risk factors for the child.
Dr. Alvarez is experienced in helping parents identify and define their parenting disputes, and then guiding them to resolutions and agreements. Sometimes this involves co-parenting and sometimes this involves parallel parenting approaches. In parallel parenting, each parent follows the court order for all defined parenting decisions and custody schedules addressed by the court, but when parenting decisions aren’t specifically defined by the court order, each parent manages his/her household independently of what the other parent does. While co-parenting is healthier for the child, when there is significant conflict, parallel parenting can help decrease the conflict, thereby lessening the negative psychological effects for the child.
